"Can't Give Up Now"

Someone asked, why I am so open about my feelings here. Well it is because this is no cake walk. Everyone who i haven't spoken to who have gone through this, have forgotten the daily struggle. I will too. Who wants to remember this daily pain. I Can't give up, I know the end of this story.

"Can't Give Up Now"

Rainy days and Mondays

Like the Carpenter's hit song, "Rainy days and Monday always get me down" I am wondering why. Well the rainy day thing is because of low barometric pressure which has been associated with a more depressive state or body aches, like a bad knee hurting more before a storm.

For me Mondays are so bad. Today I had to actually crawl out of bed and it felt like my legs would not work this morning. I decided to fight through this because I have to have faith. Well needless to say, 4 hours and 3 green smoothies later I feel back to "normal". This has been the same for months now.

I wonder why?? Could it be my bad weekend diet?
-less water
-more cook food
-1 green smoothie

I just don't know.

Mimi Kirk's Raw Onion Cracker

2 day rule

When you are going through a hard time, whatever the cause, never spend more than one day in a self pity party. Do whatever you can to crawl out of bed. Do something to get your mind busy again. It is literally mind over matter at this point. The reality is that life is hard now and some days are difficult but the slope to depression is slippery. Everyday you stay down, it gets harder to pull yourself out. You are only allowed 1 day per week.
Yesterday is gone, today is a new day!!!!!

Paradise Lost

Some mornings you just want to scream!!!! You finally realize that no one could love you more than yourself. When you have lost your independence, it humbles you. For some reason those around you are not aware of your actual pain and struggle to succumb to dependence on others. Many are not aware of the hurt you face when you have to ask 4 times for a glass of water. Sometimes you just stop asking.
Yes sometimes I wonder if God is listening. He has been reduced to cliches:

"He doesn't put more on you ..............."

"God answers prayers................and if he doesn't, praise him anyway"

Do we hear ourselves?

Paradise was just being able to do for myself.

ALL days are not great!!!!!!!!!! But tomorrow is another day.

The Price-Pottenger Story