Tuesday, May 31, 2011

"Can't Give Up Now"

Someone asked, why I am so open about my feelings here. Well it is because this is no cake walk. Everyone who i haven't spoken to who have gone through this, have forgotten the daily struggle. I will too. Who wants to remember this daily pain. I Can't give up, I know the end of this story.

"Can't Give Up Now"

Monday, May 30, 2011

Rainy days and Mondays

Like the Carpenter's hit song, "Rainy days and Monday always get me down" I am wondering why. Well the rainy day thing is because of low barometric pressure which has been associated with a more depressive state or body aches, like a bad knee hurting more before a storm.

For me Mondays are so bad. Today I had to actually crawl out of bed and it felt like my legs would not work this morning. I decided to fight through this because I have to have faith. Well needless to say, 4 hours and 3 green smoothies later I feel back to "normal". This has been the same for months now.

I wonder why?? Could it be my bad weekend diet?
-less water
-more cook food
-1 green smoothie

I just don't know.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Mimi Kirk's Raw Onion Cracker

2 day rule

When you are going through a hard time, whatever the cause, never spend more than one day in a self pity party. Do whatever you can to crawl out of bed. Do something to get your mind busy again. It is literally mind over matter at this point. The reality is that life is hard now and some days are difficult but the slope to depression is slippery. Everyday you stay down, it gets harder to pull yourself out. You are only allowed 1 day per week.
Yesterday is gone, today is a new day!!!!!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Paradise Lost

Some mornings you just want to scream!!!! You finally realize that no one could love you more than yourself. When you have lost your independence, it humbles you. For some reason those around you are not aware of your actual pain and struggle to succumb to dependence on others. Many are not aware of the hurt you face when you have to ask 4 times for a glass of water. Sometimes you just stop asking.
Yes sometimes I wonder if God is listening. He has been reduced to cliches:

"He doesn't put more on you ..............."

"God answers prayers................and if he doesn't, praise him anyway"

Do we hear ourselves?

Paradise was just being able to do for myself.

ALL days are not great!!!!!!!!!! But tomorrow is another day.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

A bit about me.

I want to shout for joy as things "seem" a bit easier but I am afraid too. It took 3 years to get to this point. very slowly. And just as slowly, I am seeing improvements. I see more muscle and I feel stronger, but i am still afraid. Could I be right....maybe, could i be wrong....maybe.
So I am literally at the point of walking by FAITH and not by SIGHT. It's not a cliche.

Vit C- for colds and more????

It makes you think............ like i said in an early post; there is something about raw food. Could it really be the Vit C? I really do not know for sure, but the evidence presented gives you cause to think about the benefits of vit c. I do not have the answers, but I am trying to just connect the dots. I am a logical scientist first and an emotional patient second. I am still betting that the answer is really SIMPLE.

By Jane Feinmann The Independent April 14, 2005

Imagine that a deadly virus is sweeping the world, killing and maiming hundreds of thousands of children. Nothing seems able to stop it -- until a doctor stands up at the American Medical Association and reports on 60 cases involving severely infected children, all of whom have been cured. Yet his work, subsequently reported in a peer-review journal, is ignored, leaving the virus to wreak havoc for decades.

This isn't a docudrama about some futuristic plague -- it's a true story about what happened in June 1949 when polio was at its peak. Dr Frederick Klenner, a clinical researcher from Reidsville, North Carolina, reported that a massive intravenous dose of Vitamin C -- up to 20,000mg daily for three days (today's recommended daily allowance is 60mg) -- had cured 60 of his patients. The findings were published in a medical journal, yet there was virtually no interest. Apart from a couple of minor trials, no attempt was made to find out if they had any scientific substance.

Relating this curious incident in a new book, Vitamin C, Infectious Diseases & Toxins: Curing the Incurable, Dr Thomas Levy, a U.S. cardiologist, admits to being gripped by a range of emotions when he came across Klenner's work and other studies that replicated it. "To know that polio had been easily cured yet so many people continued to die, or survived to be permanently crippled by it, was difficult to accept."

Levy argues that the medical profession has routinely ignored research showing that high doses of Vitamin C can combat bacteria, toxins and severe viral infections including avian flu, SARS, hepatitis and herpes. And this is not a case of doctors sniffing at anecdotal evidence from a handful of enthusiasts. "Vitamin C is possibly the best-researched substance in the world. There are more than 24,000 papers and articles on the authoritative clinical website, Medline. Yet virtually the all the evidence has been dismissed." Levy even claims that Aids can be controlled if a high enough dosage of Vitamin C is maintained.

This is not the first time doctors have had their cages rattled over the benefits of Vitamin C. The controversy has been simmering since 1753, when just a couple of sucks of a lime were shown to prevent scurvy. In the 1950s the chemist Linus Pauling, a double Nobel prize-winner, promoted the use of mega-doses of Vitamin C, but his research was rubbished by clinicians.

Recently, the anti-Vitamin C sentiment has grown. It has been blamed for causing the formation of kidney stones, and a study published in the journal Science in 2001 found that even 200mg doses of Vitamin C "facilitated the production of DNA-damaging agents associated with a variety of cancers". This finding was widely interpreted as proving that Vitamin C causes cancer.

Britain's Food Standards Agency recommends taking a maximum of 1,000mg of Vitamin C a day. But a directive going through the European Parliament aims to reduce this to less than 100mg in an attempt to harmonise dosages across the Continent. Despite being dubbed "illegal" by the advocate general of the European Court of Justice last week, the directive could still be passed.

The controversy has not put off consumers, many of whom take Vitamin C to ward off colds. The 1,000 mg capsule is the most popular single vitamin in Britain, with the 500mg version second.

Some people argue that we can get sufficient Vitamin C from a diet rich in fruit and vegetables, but Levy disagrees. The problem, he says, is that a genetic design fault makes us unable to synthesise our own Vitamin C. Levy claims that while recommended daily allowances of 60mg are enough to prevent the development of scurvy in otherwise healthy people, much higher levels are required to maintain health when an infection strikes. At such times, the body begins to "metabolise unusually large amounts of vitamin C, keeping stores so depleted that the recommended daily allowance will not even prevent many of the symptoms of scurvy from developing".

Levy claims that the reason why most animals stay healthy throughout their lives, while humans spend years coping with one or more chronic diseases, is that animals make their own Vitamin C. The wild goat, for instance, makes around 13,000mg a day, rising to 100,000mg when faced with life-threatening infectious or toxic stress, according to a 1961 study published in the Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences.

So, is Levy right? Should everyone be taking mega-doses every day and having intravenous infusions when they fall ill? Possibly.

Dr Rodney Adeniyi-Jones regularly gives 20,000mg doses to people with arterial disease and as part of a flu treatment protocol, describing its effects as "beneficial... but not miraculous". And Professor George Lewith of the Centre for Complementary and Integrated Medicine says that while Vitamin C is not a panacea, it does have clinical benefits depending on the dosage. "There may be doses that are therapeutic, while another dose may be damaging for the same condition. It is not a dose-response curve as with pharmaceuticals, and we need to be cautious until this is better understood."

But he also warns that: "Many of the [Vitamin C] trials have been badly done and what evidence exists is mixed. Both those in favour and against high doses frequently misinterpret the data."

Levy may well be seen to have an axe to grind, yet the evidence seems to support his view that apart from causing diarrhoea, mega- doses of Vitamin C are not toxic. He says that a series of studies published in leading journals have shown that, far from causing cancer, Vitamin C is a safe supplement for chronic cancer patients. Further large studies suggest that supplements do not put a normal person at greater risk of developing kidney stones.

According to Levy, the problem is not that people might take too much, but that they won't take enough -- and thus won't get the desired effects. "There's a popular medical view that taking Vitamin C just makes expensive urine. Some of it is lost in urine, but the more you consume, the more stays in your body."

With a new book on the way claiming that Vitamin C deficiency is also a primary cause of cardiovascular disease, Levy cannot be accused of underselling his case. Nor can he overcome the fact that proper clinical trials are still desperately needed.

Considering its overall safety, there appears to be no good reason why anyone with a chronic or acute health problem should not try, at the very least, a couple of week's regime of two or three 1,000mg tablets of Vitamin C a day.

............. Need to Know: So how much should you take?

* For a cold

Three 1,000mg doses a day, according to the campaign group Consumers for Health Choice.

* For flu

Although it's more serious, the viral load is similar, according to research, and taking up to 20,000mg a day could be beneficial.

* For shingles

Research has shown that this painful post-viral condition can be pretty well cured by an injection of 3,000mg of vitamin C. Taking four 1,000mg tablets orally for three days could be worthwhile as well.

* For a hangover

Taking 1,000mg daily in the week before a booze-up reduces stress on the liver. If you're drunk and want to look sober, a large dose of vitamin C will prevent drunken behaviour, according to a 1986 study, "Alcohol and Alcoholism".

* To maintain your health

A 1,000mg daily dose is regarded as safe by the Food Standards Agency, and adequate to keep sufficient vitamin C in the plasma and tissues. "We believe this is absolutely safe and definitely beneficial to people's health," says Sue Croft of Consumers for Health Choice.



Vitamin C, Infectious Diseases & Toxins: Curing the Incurable By Dr Thomas Levy http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1401069630/newheavenneweart

Bill Clinton knows food matters!!!!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Secret

Ok I will let you in on my secret weapon. This how I do it. My professor (#1 son) tells me to get up and get going; then my cheerleader (#2 son) reminds me that I can do anything.

I then put my song on and go out to win another battle day!!!!

JOIN ME!!!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

The FIGHT protocol

A friend of mine was extremely upset about her brother-in-law diagnosis of cancer. She cried out "what should we do". At this risk of sounding too cold, I simply said fight. We fight for our jobs and other material things.....WHY NOT FIGHT FOR OUR HEALTH.

Here is some info that i found interesting. Everyone is different but the principles are universal.
Dr. Gordon is promoting his products, but just focus on the theory.

F.I.G.H.T. For Optimum Health and Anti-Aging Program

by Dr. Garry F. Gordon

These are my thoughts on how to more effectively help EVERY patient better by using my F.I.G.H.T. for health program which is further outlined on www.gordonresearch.com. I also want to help move us into anti-aging testing, such as offered at www.imhealth.com. As testing will increase compliance, and the better the compliance the better the results you will have in treating anyone.

Briefly, F.I.G.H.T. is an acronym that stands for:

F = Food related aspect and leaky gut
I = Infections
G = Genetics and epigenetics and methylation issues needed for detoxing
H = Heavy Metals and Hormones
T = Toxins

Using F.I.G.H.T. as a protocol for health, you want to be sure you are doing something for your patients in EACH category.


With Food is it hard to identify all sensitivity reactions so, at minimum, serious rotation is advised but building a healthy gut flora is vital or we become sensitive to other foods anyway. Since few want to be told to eliminate foods, we can encourage them to eat foods that are in the books by Peter D’Adamo ND, author of Eat Right For You Blood Type and Live Right For Your Blood Type. For example, if you are blood type A, you want to eat a largely vegetarian diet, and if you are blood type O you’ll do better with meat-based diet like Atkins; if you are B or AB you are more in the middle of these.

The food issue is never resolved adequately with any one test available, so some will rely on strict avoidance of known foods like corn, soy, wheat, and dairy. Others can learn to eliminate some foods by counting their pulse before and after eating single foods, as described by Dr. Arthur F. Coca, the Chief of Allergy at Columbia, in his book The Pulse Test (available through Amazon for about $15).

We could do some food sensitivity testing using methods like ALCAT or Elisa testing for food reactions, as usually there will be some food sensitivity blunting the healing response we need. But since leaky gut is unavoidable with the GMO soy and corn in everyone’s diet providing a pesticide effect in our intestines and altering our flora. I place anyone hoping to have high health on a daily probiotic for life but this will not work optimally without Inuflora, a food derived from the Jerusalem artichoke that is in “Beyond Fiber” which provides the ultimate PREBIOTIC. This is NOT FOS. This is a huge molecule that alone lowers Candida counts over just a few months time, ensuring healthy flora to flourish while harmful pathogens are choked out.

“Beyond Fiber” is part of my POWER DRINK, which I create by adding the following FOUR main ingredients to juices:

1) Beyond Fiber
2) MACA powder
3) Dr Gordon’s Green drink
4) BioE’nR-G’y C

Amounts required are around 1 tsp of each ingredient at least once a day; but some will do better with bid building up slowly. Start with an even ½ tsp of these once a day, as we MUST rebuild the flora for all this to work optimally.

The Power Drink is best sipped over 2 hours ideally bid so you need well tolerated, neutral PH forms of Vitamin C with Methylation Support like TMG AND MSM, as found in BioEn’R-G'y C (or Vitality C).

BIOE’NR-G’Y C is key to recovery of all patients; I like about 4 tsp a day giving 16 GM of Ascorbic acid.

But this must be taken with a quality acidophilus, ideally for life. I am using Kyodophilus or UAS Probioplex DDS caps.


Infections are hard to adequately handle unless you routinely offer a short series of 3-6 UVB and OZONE treatments over a couple of days or 2 weeks. The alternative is to use 50-80+ gm IV ascorbic acid drips ideally followed the same day with HBO treatments. This goes to H202.

Also there are reasons to look on my website under INFECTIONS and use natural things like ACS and Immune support and short courses of antibiotics like Azithromycin or even a week or so of oral Alinia. All of this is needed, as we try to lower the total pathogen load. I do that without spending a fortune trying to identify all the pathogens, as literature shows we all carry pathogens. Chlamydia is just the tip of the iceberg and we all will have to deal with some CMV and Mycoplasma etc.

We know there is infection and generally we do not need to spend $5k plus with Garth Nicolson’s lab in Huntington Beach or others to attach some name to his pathogen burden. We can safely assume that some stealth organisms are present and the program is not adequately handling them. I have heard of patients using 1 ounce of ACS a day (150 sprays in divided doses) for over a year slowly improving but still not being hit hard enough so we may need more aggressive oxidative therapies like 100 GM IV ascorbic acid or UVB/Ozone.

We just know we need something oxidative, even HBO with high dose IV Ascorbic Acid followed by HBO almost at the same time, which is another way to lower total body burden of pathogens.

Also, look at my www.gordonresearch.com website and use SEARCH feature and review my INFECTION protocol using things in addition to ACS 200. Look at things like high dose Garlic like Kyolic, which some can take and others will not touch. And help the immune system with short-term high dose Vit A, 5-8 days of ½ million units a day. Nutrisorb A is a liquid form providing 10,000 units per drop.

I find that most patients are not holding their pathogens under adequate control so I help support their immune function. My program uses Longevity Plus products that are truly comprehensive and a bargain since no immune support product provides the comprehensive coverage found in their IMMUNI-T products. The Immuni-T 2 is primarily for acute infections and the Immuni-T3 is designed more for chronic issues including cancer. I recommend taking both for 1-3 months starting with 2 tid of each for 2-3 weeks then 2 bid for a couple months or longer. This will help your patients deal with the infection aspect of F.I.G.H.T.


Many labs offer gene testing today and the price will come down and accuracy will increase. But I am confident there will be issues around things like MTHFR and METHYLATION so that helps explain why some patients cannot get optimal response without addressing the need for methylation support.

So I advise all 3 forms of Folic Acid and sublingual B12. Preferably both adult males and females will receive H.R.T Plus (Herbal Remedy from Thailand), which provides Estrogen receptor treatment with the amazing herb Pueraria Mirifica. This does many things like protecting against bone loss. Combined with my total program for osteoporosis including Beyond Bone Defense and Beyond Chelation-Improved, this is a vital step in allowing us to live long and still have soft arteries and hard bones, even when you are 90.

Ideally, we need to move into anti-aging medicine and select some patient to use, as a test case, for learning how to use international anti-aging systems (IAS) new program that Phil Mican helped develop with the help of Ward Dean.

So go to www.imhealth.com website and ask for a test sample to learn how to analyze your patients BIOLOGICAL AGE. That is a great way to show over the next 6-12 months that we are getting real benefits. The program will show your patient who complies with all of this getting younger, as the red dots it uses to highlight problem areas will start to become green over time. This is a great way to increase compliance, as the report highlights areas of concern that over the coming years we will see improve!

If we stick to my FIGHT concept we can to this without using genetic testing because, for example, the Agouti mice research shows we have Epigenetic changes due to environmental toxins. This research by Randy Jirtle at Duke helps explains today’s epidemic of Obesity and Diabetes due to things like BISPHENOL A. You can safely assume most people have been exposed to BISPHENOL A and that has caused some of these epigenetic changes like methylation defects.

So using the BioE’nR-G’y C with TMG AND MSM, at least 1 slightly heaping tsp 2-4 times a day i.e. taking 8-16 gm a day, preferably with all the other three ingredients found in my Power Drink for optimal results. Nothing beats the Beyond Fiber formula for lowering toxins particularly when taken along with ACZ Nano. It seems that the Zeolite formula is helping move some of the toxins that even BC-I and Heavy Detox and Hi dose vitamin C with Fiber and sweating are moving around but we need lots of assistance to usher all of these toxins out of the body!


FIGHT means lots of detoxing is MANDATORY and that means more than a year of intensive work, which can never be discontinued, as we continue to breathe in toxins and drink and eat them. This detox can be helped with homeopathics for drainage; consider, for example, HEEL has their DETOX kit and I often add 10 gtts of each of the three bottles to each glass of my Power Drink.

For heavy metals the goal is get them as low as possible. Lead is in the bones in everyone at 1000+ times greater quantities than was present 400 years ago. Bones take 15 years to remodel so I recommend some of my short or push Calcium EDTA IV s weekly to start ( ideally follow with IV MYERS). After 20 or so switch to perhaps monthly for another 20-30 or more. But ALWAYS with the full Oral Chelation Program (Beyond Chelation-Improved plus my Power Drink). And, of course, ideally patients can join a gym and sweat in their sauna and/or steam room or get their own FIR sauna. They now have the new portable versions that you sit in with head out costing less than $500 but sweating frequently is crucial, as this is the ideal way for Mercury and many other toxins to get out.

For Hormones, I use topical Testosterone – Progesterone Chrysin 150-5-200 per cc, the full 15 years.


So we still must deal with the T for toxins. To prove to patients that they need this you might use US BIOTEK lab and get their urine test for 5 toxins and have the interpretation of their $120-$140 urine stick test interpreted by Mark Schauss. They will test for Phthalates, styrene, benzene, toluene, etc. This is useful so that patients know they are not wasting their time and money on all this detoxing.

Ideally a few of your wealthy patients should spend the $4900 and send the 20 vials of blood to Mt Sinai School of Medicine to get all 240 toxins measured. See www.ewg.org to learn more about that blood test for toxins, which even Bill Moyers test revealed that in spite of eating and living organically he too is loaded with endocrine disruptors, carcinogens and neurotoxins and he has lived all organic for years.

I hope what I have written here will prove useful in your practices. If we can broaden our approach to every patient by utilizing the F.I.G.H.T. concept and covering even more issues, you will be getting better results in all patients.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Let's talk food

Let’s talk food. “Let food be thy medicine, and medicine be thy food”
We have also heard “You are what eat”. I guess it is time we start believing it. In my “free” time, I have been studying a lot of these so called healing diets.

THE BIBLE DIET- focusing on fermented, live foods
GERSON DIET- 100% raw, plenty juice
PALEO DIET- No gluten grains, lactose free, raw foods
RAW DIET- 100% vegan raw
AUTOIMMUNE DIET- gluten free, lactose free
DR. SEBI DIET - strict vegan
ATKIN'S DIET - low carbs, high protein

One would say eat all fresh food but another would say don’t eat fruit. Dr. Sebi says do not eat carrot or seedless fruits. The Bible Diet allows you to eat organic, grass fed animal meat. The problem with 100% raw vegan diets is the lack of vitamin B12. It is so confusing....who is right?

I started wondering why do some diets have various miraculous results. With some further research , I found a lot of reports on the benefits of high dose of Vitamin C.Please note here, Vitamin C is destroyed by heat aka Cooking. I will post more about Vit C later.

Dr. Mercola has made a test available, to determine if you fit in a high veggie, high meat or in between category. He claims this is why 100% raw doesn't work for everyone, nor a high protein diet

Long story short, this is MY conclusion. Extremism is not healthy; everything should be done in moderation. MY diet includes at least 70% raw vegetable, but low carbohydrates and a small amount of good animal protein. However, I did detox with 100% raw for 30 days and many of my meals are 100% raw. Listen to you body and watch this video.

I highly recommend this movie. Do not perish for the lack of knowledge.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

This one is for Mark

Thanks for listening and for understanding.

Fermenting Vegetables with Sandor Katz

This is a great video for fermenting veggies. I LOVE IT!!!!!

Saturday, May 21, 2011


This is from June 2007
Dr. R said there is no correlation
please note peripheral neuropathy at 51%, ataxia 40%, migraine, irritable bowel, milk intolerance................the only thing missing was God saying that maybe we should look into this!

Published today on celiac.com, here are the latest stats on celiac disease. Three million people in the U.S. have celiac disease, yet the majority remain undiagnosed (or misdiagnosed with another condition).

Untreated celiac disease can promote other conditions, especially gastrointestinal cancer, non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, and autoimmune diseases. Due to malabsorption, it can directly cause osteoporosis, anemia and other conditions associated with malnutrition.

Here is a list (from the article) of diseases that are more common in celiac patients than in the general population. According to the latest research cited by celiac.com:

If people with celiac disease continue to eat gluten, studies show that their risk of gastrointestinal cancer is 40 to 100 times that of the normal population. In addition to increased cancer risk, untreated celiac disease is associated with osteoporosis, and a two-fold increase in the risk of fractures, including first-time hip fractures. Moreover, an unusually high percentage of people with celiac disease suffer from the following related conditions (% in parenthesis):

If you have symptoms of celiac disease, or if it runs in your family, you need to get a simple blood panel of Tissue Transglutaminase (IgA), Anti-gliadin (IgA and IgG), Anti-endomysial (IgA), and Total IgA.

Remember that 50% of sufferers do not have noticeable gastrointestinal symptoms, but can still suffer all the ill effects listed above. If you have one of the above-listed conditions, checking for celiac is wise, since celiac can promote these conditions and when a gluten-free diet is implemented, the symptoms can abate partially or fully. This is even true in non-celiac gluten intolerance where just the Anti-gliadin IgG is elevated. Don't let a doctor brush you off.

Feed me Seymour

I haven't eaten for 24hrs now. It is not intentional but I still have to rely on others and sometimes I prefer not to deal with all of the drama that comes with it.
I feel weaker but still stronger, if that makes sense. I am now 98lbs and size 0. I will rest the muscles today and get back on the training next week. I also bought some rice protein today to add some more protein for muscle growth.
I will break my diet today for some sardines and polenta (yellow grits).

I miss cooking most of all......more than walking!

Coconut Kefir

I made some yesterday and it looks disgusting this morning. Well looks aside, this is suppose to be soo good for me. Kefir is usually made with milk, but since I am intolerant of milk, coconut water is used instead.

Here is what Dr. Weil says about kefir: Dr Weil and kefir
Coconut Kefir

I love coconut kefir. It is very cleansing to the liver and alkaline to the body. It contains high levels of valuable minerals, including potassium, natural sodium, and chloride, which explains why the hair, skin and nails become stronger and have a prettier shine. It is also delicious.

It aids digestion of all foods. A glass with a meal is ideal. It also helps with hunger making you feel satisfied.

What is kefir, you may ask. According to CULTURED FOOD LIFE:
What is kefir?

Kefir is one of the most ancient beverages known and which is still common today. Its production is based on the product of the fermentation done by a complex of yeasts and bacteria. The term “kefir” seems to come from the Armenian word keif, which means “wellness”.

Kefir is a beverage made of fermented milk, similar to yogurt, and it is believed to come from Russia and Caucasus. It certainly is one of the most ancient lactic cultures as well as rich in legends. The products derived from the fermentation of milk have been part of human nutrition since remote times: they are mentioned in the Bible, in the Genesis it is mentioned the use of fermented milk, in the Deuteronomy it is mentioned by Moses. In ancient texts Abraham gives credit to his long life to fermented milk products.

In Turkey it is said that kefir grains were a gift from angels to Noah on the ark. Many other legends are also told. It is said that the orthodox tribes-people of Northern Caucasus Mountains, were gifted kefir grains possibly by the Prophet Mohammed over 1,400 years ago. We do know that the case the grains have been around for thousands of years.

Friday, May 20, 2011

...back of a snail.

My grand aunt reminded me again to have patience.
"Sickness comes on the back of a horse and leaves on the back of a snail".

I had a wonderful day today. We finally got a nice boutique hotel's contract; i was able to exercise more;watch my favourite movie and end the work day with a massage in ocean breeze on my balcony.
I have to brag about these "good" days because there are plenty bad ones.
Controlling negative thoughts is half of the battle. I find that when I think I can or can't, I am right!


here's my recipe:
- Prayer and meditation
- healthy food, at least 60% raw
-positive mental attitude

Dr. Gordon recommends
F- food
I- infection
H- heavy metals

I will expand on Dr. Gordon's princple later, but the point here is that illness is complex and just taking "a pill" usually only addresses a symptom.

God's confirmation

I went to bed upset and woke up sooooo happy. Ready to fight on!!!!!! It was so nice to find this in my mail today:

JoyScope: Friday 20th May 2011

Our natural birthright is to be well. All illness, whether a cold or something more serious, is just a blip in the body's system. When we notice that there is dis-ease, we are being encouraged to give ourselves a health check, and to nourish and nurture our way back to total and complete health. It can be less than easy to focus on well-being, when our bodies (and, in some cases, Doctors) are presenting evidence to the contrary, but there are countless examples of people self-healing from even the most serious and bleak of prognoses. Being well is always an inside job. Our job is to allow it. How we do that will always be unique to us.. we just need to follow our hearts and do the things that feel healthy. That could be eating certain foods, taking exercise, surrounding ourselves with positive and life-affirming friends, and resting and rejuvenating. Be easy and light about what you choose to do. Our bodies appreciate gentleness. Treat your body like your best friend and it will respond accordingly. Your body knows how to be well.

(Today's JoyScope is dedicated to Mel. A bright star who is destined to shine on and on! You can do it!)

Proud to be Mommy

13 years ago i became a mother. It was definitely a blessing for me. This young man has been my rock and my motivation. In 2 short years he has become a little man. Back in January, my son woke me up at 1am on a Sunday morning. He said that God spoke to him about me. He said that he was frighten at first but then he felt God's love. God told him to take pictures of my present condition because when I am healed, it would be hard for people to visualize how ill I was.
Love is a powerful thing. True love is God personified. All I have to give my kids now is my love. I use to wonder if that was enough and then a friend wrote this to me:

".....that your heart will be opened again soon. Indeed,very soon, if you are receptive to it. Do not think that you have had your last chance to love.God would never do that to you. Your chances are asendless as life itself! So love, love, love. And do not worry about who loves you back. Then get set for more love to fill your days and nights,precisely because you have not worried about it. For you always receive from the world what you give to the world. It is The Law."

This illness has taken away my job, my money, my looks and my freedom but not my ability to love. All I have is love to give...............all I have is God to give......IT IS ENOUGH!!!

Thursday, May 19, 2011

No more pity

A friend called tonight, very upset about my illness. It's amazing how often I have comfort people when I am the one who is ill. I started the day with acheving one of my goals and then she had to suck the joy back out. She meant well but.......................

It is hard to find the daily motivation to fight this battle. I asked God show me one person who went through this and won. He gave me Clara Cartwright. She went through this back in 2004 and is now normal again.

At this risk of sounding selfish, I plead with all my "friends" to keep their distance if they are bringing pity. Pity doesn't get up out of bed in the morning. It doesn't give me the power to go down the stairs. It doesn't take my fear of falling again; and it doesn't comfort my loneliness. Pity doesn't give me a normal life!

I do not doubt for a second that I will beat this, but it doesn't make the day to day struggles any easier. And do not reference JOB in the bible to me again. Most of you who do , did not read the whole book! In the middle of the story, he was frustrated, angry and upset too.
It took at least 3 years for me to get here, so it will take time for healing.

So please help me don't pity me.

My journey starts here!!!

As I sit here, I decided to be obedient to my son Whit and my dear friends.
I was told i had ALS in Jan 2010 then was told that I did not in Feb. Also, I was told that i had high levels of mercury and lead. I spent 2010 trying to get rid of the heavy metals. I still got worst slowly and was then discovered that i also had a gluten intolerance.

So I began 2011 on a gluten free diet, and switch to 100% raw vegan diet.

The last 17 months have been my hell on earth and i times, I feel like i am being buried alive as i grew weaker.

The good news is that there has been some improvement lately.

This is my bitter cup that I have to take for God's greater good.
Stay tune as i try to post daily on my amazing journey back to life.